I’m trying something new this week, and I really want it to stick. I woke up early this morning, and my goal is to start getting to bed by 10:00 and waking up around 6:00 in the morning. I have no particular reason to get up this early, but lately, I’ve found that I have very little peace throughout the day, and I’ve been getting very sleepy around 10 at night, even though I don’t go to bed until 11 or later.

The goal really is that when I get up in the morning, I plan on reading my Bible and exercising (Pilates) before the kids get up. This is a big deal to me, mostly because I haven’t really had time to do anything other than sew and watch kids lately, and my days have become really hectic. I have a lot on my plate right now, and getting sufficient sleep is important, but I found in the spring that reading several chapters in my Bible each day when it is quiet in the house can really do wonders for my mental attitude, not to mention it can be a real eye-opener when I read something that I never noticed before.

There’s a verse in Proverbs 31 that says something like “she gets up while it is still dark” and I have been hearing that verse spoken in my head a lot lately. It’s not that I want to get up so early that I don’t have any sleep, but that I can get a better handle on my day, and that I don’t feel like I’m rushing to get everything done in a short amount of time in the morning before everyone starts running 100 miles an hour.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning, because I got a late start to bed last night, and the past hour has been wonderfully peaceful. I forget sometimes that I’m very internal, and that when I spend my whole day with other people and taking care of other people without spending a little time to myself, I get hot tempered and I start to feel used. I really like order, and when my house is out of order I get even worse, just frustrated and grumpy, but when I can take a little quiet time to stay healthy (emotionally and spiritually), it’s amazing how it clears my mind.

I don’t know if anyone else out there is like me, who needs “me time,” not for selfish reasons, but for sanity and peace, and because it’s how GOD made you. I’m not really usually introspective when I’m alone, I usually think about random silly things, lately when I have nothing to concentrate on, my mind wanders to clothing designs I can make with Paper Fashions (so fun–it’s not just for pre-teens!), and what I can do with the designs once I’ve made them. So I’m not always a terribly deep person, but at other times, when I think I’m really just longing to read my Bible, I start to think about what I’ve read recently and how that has actually changed my thinking about other parts of the Bible that I never realized before were connected.

I try not to think too much about myself or my past failures, because whenever I do, I forget that you can’t change the past, and I start to have a mini panic attack. I have been reflecting lately on what I’m thankful for, especially when chaos begins to take over the house, and I have been making Christmas plans in my head, and working on some creative ways to share Jesus with my children this year. I’m very excited about this, and get teary-eyed just thinking and praying about Nour being receptive to the stories I’m going to share with her while doing the Jesse Tree this year. (Speaking of that, I will post up some links soon to the sites I found that I plan on using for our Advent calendar this year.)

Overall, I’m praying that this new habit will begin to bring the peace that I need, and it will help me get my days going in a more goal-oriented way.

I’ve heard stories around the internet about some Christian groups having “100 year plans” for their families, which I find a little ridiculous, but it got me thinking, hey, I don’t even have a 5 year plan. So, hopefully with help from Sam on this, I want to begin working on a 5 year plan for our family.

Currently, there are 2 things I would like to see happen in the next 5 years, maybe 3, but specifically these:

Raise enough support to go to Egypt and start working with Sam’s dad toward a marriage and family ministry in his training center.

Get my Master’s degree.

Possible Homeschool both of our children (this is the third, more shaky goal).

There are other things, too, like learning Arabic and teaching it to our children, but in general, the top three are listed above.

I spent the morning looking through the Master’s degree programs at our alma mater (Cincinnati Christian University, AKA Cincinnati Bible College and Seminary), and at this point I’m seriously thinking I’d like a Master of Divinity with focus in both Biblical Studies AND Theological Studies. This would make the degree 12 credits more than the standard 90 credit hours for this degree,  but I love taking Bible classes, I want to learn Bible languages, and I’ve always had something of an affinity for theology. I didn’t get a chance to take the languages as an undergrad, because I did a Bachelor of Science instead of Arts, which doesn’t require the languages.

Anyway, this is not something we could do right away, it would be either next year (fall or winter) or after we spend two years in Egypt or so. I want to continue to pray about the right direction to go as far as the Master’s, but I know that getting one is in my future eventually.

Our work in Egypt would be focused on developing a program for marriage training, mentoring or coaching, for pre-marital couples or couples who are struggling. We would not do all of the coaching but would teach others how to coach couples through their marriages. Much of the beginning work would be translating materials that have already been written and making them culturally relevant. A lot of that work could be done in the United States, and I wouldn’t exactly have a big role in that.

Ultimately, I would like to really have a plan pushing us forward on these  things, and be able to set small goals each month or year to get to the place where we feel God leading us. This isn’t something we are taking lightly or even just doing on a whim, it’s something we’ve felt for a long time has been coming. It’s just a matter of getting it planned out and set up.

How we (I) plan on celebrating Christmas this year.

I have not veered off of the traditional Christmas plans, but I have realized that there are some particularly good opportunities that come with Christmas to introduce symbolism and history to young children, and I want to take advantage of that, and bring special meaning to Christmas, without doing a lot of extra work to make it fun. I want it to be fun for me, too!

So this year I have decided to add a Jesse Tree to our Christmas tradition, which means that we will set up our large tree, and also our small tree. The large tree with have our typical Christmas decorations, but the small will be simple, and each of the children will get an ornament to add to it each day for the 28 days prior to Christmas (starting the Saturday after Thanksgiving). I will make the ornaments with some foam board and printed ornaments I found on the internet, and each child will get a different symbol to put on the tree. Since I only have two children, this will be fairly simple, because there are lots of websites and I only need two different pictures for each day.

We have done advent since Nour was 2, lighting candles in the wreath and reading the Children’s Bible stories related to the birth of Jesus. I hope one day to actually have children’s books directly related to each candle, but that probably won’t be this year. Each Sunday we will light a new candle plus the older candles, and we will read the stories each day, building upon the previous story until we get to the story of the birth of Jesus and the Magi.

I’m excited to involve Alex more this year, he was so young last year that he didn’t take part. He’s getting old enough to sit for a story and place ornaments on the tree, and that should be very interesting to observe!

The last thing we are adding is a tradition that I have not celebrated before, but it is something that I hope to help separate Santa Claus from Jesus’ birth a little bit. We will be giving a small gift to each child on the feast of St. Nicholas (which is Dec. 6). I will tell the story of who St. Nicholas was, and why he is part of Christmas. I hope that this will help put Santa into perspective, and keep the kids from thinking that Santa is not “real.” He was a real saint, and he was a very generous person. I think generosity is a very good quality to teach children, and I think that it would be good to do some generous things on his feast day. One idea is to go out the day before and buy a bag of non-perishable groceries to donate at church for our food pantry the next day. This could be a very wonderful way of teaching children to do the same, since St. Nick gave money to the poor and needy.

I believe that one of the “gifts” that is typically given on St. Nicholas day is chocolate coins. These are already readily available at Christmastime because of Hanukkah, as well, and the typical way that the Dutch children receive these gifts is by putting out their shoes for Sinterklaus (sp?) to put gifts into. I think we would probably just put their shoes outside the bedroom door for them to find in the morning. I don’t know what other gifts I would be able to find that are small for this unique day, but I don’t want it to just be chocolate candy!

Finally, I don’t know yet if I will celebrate this tradition, but I’m thinking about it. My mom has done the “12 days of Christmas” in the past, and that would start Dec. 14th with Christmas as day 12. Another way of celebrating this is having Christmas day be day 1, and January 5th be the 12th day. January 6th is Epiphany on the Christian calendar, but the Orthodox Christmas (which is also the “Egyptian” Christmas) is celebrated on January 7th. This is the day that we take down our Christmas tree. I keep it up that long because of our Egyptian family, and it helps me to remember the date. I have not decided what to do about the 12 day gifts, but if I do end up doing 12 days, the gifts will be small and directly related to presents the children got for Christmas, or clothing. Last year, Nour got socks and small books for most days.

It’s fun to get creative with Christmas gifts and Christmas traditions, because there is so much to pick from. I don’t want to go overboard on decoration, but it is one time of year that there is a lot to talk about regarding the meaning of traditions, and I personally feel that my own children ought to understand the meaning of the things we do, rather than just doing them without understanding. It is part of living our faith and being able to give an explanation for our beliefs, rather than doing things robotically and not knowing why certain things are important.

Yesterday was Sam’s and my 11 year anniversary of our first date. It is interesting that on our 10 year anniversary, Barack Obama was elected president, but our 11 year was something of a reverse day, because we didn’t get to see a whole lot of each other, and it was a hairy, crazy day. Still, it was special, because it was our day. We got to sit down together to learn about a couple that we are going to be coaching (premarital), and they are about the age we were when we were getting ready to be married, so it brought back a lot of memories of us at that age, and it was a good thing!

But it’s great to think about being together such a long time, because many relationships don’t last even that long, and I am really glad we have both committed to each other and to working out problems and not trying to run from them. I’m confident that we have a solidly founded marriage, and because it is founded on a mutual love of Jesus and each other, I think it would take a lot for something else to destroy it. I believe that the marriage contract in a Christian home is not just between a couple, but it is a three-way contract with God as well. I recently heard about old friends whose marriage collapsed last year, and it broke my heart, because when I knew them, they were both solidly Christian. I know if you ignore the part of the vows you made to God, the rest can dissolve quickly if you don’t work at it. There are certainly many non-Christian marriages that last forever, and I often wonder what their secrets are, but a solid foundation of choosing to love when it isn’t easy (which hopefully isn’t often) is one of the keys to a lasting loving marriage.

And now I realize that I’m going to be 30 in less than 6 months, actually less than 5, but who’s counting? I am excited about it, not worried,  because I don’t mind getting older. I don’t mind because I’ve been mistaken for a much younger person twice in the last week. Yes, that feels good. I had a little boy ask if I was my daughter’s sister (so sweet!), and a friend’s sister thought I was 20. After having two kids and not feeling like my body is what it was even 5 years ago (okay, 5 and a half), it felt really good that someone else still saw youth that I don’t always feel. And I’m only 29! (for the FIRST time, mind you.)

But that brings me to my birthday. I am excited, as I said, so I am planning on having a really fun, crazy birthday bash, incorporating the last 30 years of pop culture into the theme of the party, the cake, and the decorations. I’m inviting lots of people, and the part that is most exciting (to me, anyway): there’s going to be a contest and people will win actual prizes of monitary value. What might the contest be? Well, I’ve decided to throw a costume party where you have to come dressed as an icon or event that happened in the last 30 years. From 1980 to 2010, the best costumes will win something (and I’ll be buying the prizes, so my costume doesn’t count). So if you are reading this and you are in the Columbus area, and you want to come to my party, start thinking now of a really creative idea for a costume! You never know if yours might be the most creative!

I’ve recently created a useful one-size diaper pattern that can be sewn by just about anyone with basic sewing machine capabilities (that would be me.), and it occurred to me to talk about some of the issues I see with a lot of one-size diapers I’ve seen sold around the internet, and why they are best left to people who can buy them already made, not for those of us who have to be thrifty and sew our own.

One of the first things you see when you look up “One size cloth diapers” is that most, if not all, of them have some sort of snap system that makes them larger or smaller. The snaps themselves do not cost a whole lot, but when you consider how many pieces have to be put on, you end up with a lot of snaps on one diaper, and that can begin to consume a lot of your diaper-making time, not to mention a little more money for each extra set of snap parts that goes on the diaper. All in all, they are the biggest reason that I stay away from those diapers, because it’s a lot of effort, which translates to time and money, particularly if you are buying/selling. You want to get your money’s worth if you are buying, and you want to get your wages if you are selling, which bumps up the cost considerably. If you are willing to pay for this work to be done, that’s great, but if you’re like me, you think “there must be a cheaper/easier/better way.”

Second, I think that many of these diapers have an option of velcro OR snap closures for the actual flaps (the part that keeps the diaper together!), and if you like a certain diaper, but it only has the one choice, that can be a bummer. You could always ask if they have the other, but chances are, if it’s not on the site, you can’t get it. I like velcro, because it’s quick and much more adjustable, and you don’t end up with lots of snaps that could break. Velcro can be replaced by anyone with a sewing machine or needle and thread, but snaps require a pro, or at least a costly machine (this is true for the size adjustment snaps, too).

Two more things that I should address that a lot of people might be concerned about are bulk and pockets.

Bulky diapers are unavoidable with cloth. My son’s butt is twice as big with cloth than with sposies (that’s cloth diaper speak for “disposables”), but I think it’s cute, and it helps with pants that are a little big. They actually fit a little better when he’s wearing cloth. But there are places where bulk is unwanted, and bulk in the front is no laughing matter. Many of the snapping one-size diapers create a large amount of weird bulk in the front, particularly those that have all the padding built in, and there’s the folding issue, which basically means that there are folds within the diaper that can create a pocket for unpleasant things to get stuck in (and if you don’t unsnap, there’s a chance that part won’t get totally clean, jsyk. So I prefer diapers that actually have levels of closures and the rest folds down. The diaper I’ve created has three levels of velcro, folds down and the folded part is covered with an insert pad, so that it doesn’t get overly messed up. The best part: very little excess bulk from the diaper itself. The insert can be folded for smaller babies, but the diaper is two layers of fabric plus the velcro (which makes it a little thicker, but not too thick). The best part of this is that there are no tedious snaps to re-snap or adjust, and this can shave time off of a diaper change, which is good for everyone.

There are many who love pocket diapers, and for them, this is no big thing, but for me, as someone who sews my own, the pockets are a big hassle, and seem to be counterproductive, at least when it comes to removal of messes. I prefer a diaper that the “stuff” can come off of easily by a little shaking, or with a nice removable pad that means you aren’t holding the whole diaper precariously over the toilet hoping you don’t drop it in. (Look, if you’re reading this and you aren’t a cloth diaperer, don’t say “ew! gross.” If you’ve ever changed a dirty diaper, it’s exactly the same, there’s always the risk of getting something gross on your hands, just wash them with soap and water when you are finished for crying out loud! Babies are messy, and there’s no getting around it. It’s safer for you and for them if you wash your hands after changing ANY diaper anyways. No harm, no foul.)

Pocket diapers don’t really allow for simple removal, in my opinion, and many people don’t like to have to stuff them, so it’s definitely a preference issue. I like something you can just lay in the diaper and pop out if needed.

One last thing about diapers that I want is elastic in the back. Many diapers don’t have this, and I think it can be a vital element, because if your baby has a blow-out, elastic that stretches just right around the thighs and behind can keep you from having to do a lot more laundry. I’m not saying every mess will be contained, that is really dependent upon the force and how well the diaper fits in the first place, but it may be the difference between 1 and 2 loads of baby clothes every day!

For anyone who is reading this thinking, those things don’t bother me, I mean no offense, this is my personal opinion on what I like best in a diaper/don’t like, and there are literally dozens of diapers out there, any one of which could be best suited to individual needs and preferences. I choose to make my own, including the pattern, and I think it works best for my needs. I think it’s also a great idea to talk about what expectations are for a good cloth diaper because people who may be considering cloth should know what it’s like to use them. Every baby is different, each baby is shaped different, too, and what works for some may be disastrous for others. The best part about cloth is that it has become far more versatile than it used to be (folded diapers and plastic pants), and it is so much more versatile than disposable diapering–and cuter, too!

Yes, I know it’s after midnight.

I have been thinking about and planning for Nour’s 5th birthday, which is coming up in February, and I am planning a tea party theme. Of course, I would love it if she had a few little girlfriends to invite to this kind of party, but I’m not totally sure how that would work out, to be honest.

Anyway, since I’m up and caffeinated, I figured I’d share a few of the things that I have planned for her party, particularly if we have a child-centered party or something “ladies only” (we’ll have a family gathering, too.)

1. Dresses. We will have to dress up as if we are going to a fancy tea party, and it will most certainly BE a fancy tea party.

2. Frou-frou table cloths. I will probably find something lacy or flowered to put on the tables for the party.

3. Tea-related snacks that are fit for little girls and adults alike. We got a book awhile back that has a lot of great ideas in it, so I’ll probably be using that as a guide.

4. A “tea-party” cake, which I hope to fix a teddy bear tea party on top of. Teddy bears will have little fancy dresses on, too.

5. I really want it to be something fun for the little girls, so we will have some girly party favors, like iced cookie sticks to take home, and probably bubbles and silly sunglasses for each little girl to wear.

6. I’m also thinking that there will be some crafts involved, like making crowns and decorating paper doll clothes for a special paper doll that each little girl can take home. Also, maybe a wand decorating station.

7. Maybe a game of “pin the tiara on the princess.”

At this point, that’s all I’ve got, but it seems to be a lot, maybe enough. At least it should deter men from wanting to be in on the fun… Again, we’ll still have a family gathering–you only turn 5 once!

As far as my own milestone birthday coming a month later… Pirates or Potter. Or something completely different. I don’t want it to be exactly like Sarah’s party, which was fun to plan, but I don’t want to repeat. I really would love it to be a costume party, but it would have to be a creative costume party, since my birthday’s in March, far removed from Halloween store bought costumes… But I think it would be a real blast to see what creative ideas people could come up with for costumes… Oooh, a Masquerade! Okay, now I’m just being silly. But seriously. I think I would really have fun with a costume party for my birthday. My birthday’s on a Tuesday, so it would have to be the weekend before or after the big day. Either way, I think many people would still have thoughts of leprechauns–be creative people! I don’t want 50 leprechauns when I’m going to dress as…Ha! You thought I was going to tell you.

I’ve been having changing feelings about what it means to give and receive gifts of value, and I am beginning to feel that there are a few things I should put down in writing, even if my views aren’t fully formed as of yet.

I should be really careful to say that I love receiving gifts, and gifts that are given thoughtfully are the best kind, even if they are not exactly what I expected. If effort is put into giving a gift, then it’s a great gift.

But I think one of the biggest problems with commercialized holidays, particularly Christmas, is this idea that the giving has to be exactly what the receiver of gifts wants, and in a consumer culture, it’s no wonder that gift giving has been reduced to lists or even registries for birthdays and holidays (not so much babies and weddings–I think those kind of registries do have some value).

But I feel like I don’t even want that many gifts this year, because I already have SOO much stuff that I would rather get rid of. If it was a gift that enhanced a particular hobby or was exceptionally useful for myself or my whole family, then I would like it better than something that might not get used. Practical gifts are more my cup of tea than lots of other things that I don’t really need, and I feel bad accepting gifts that I know I won’t use, even if there is some thought put into it.

I struggle back and forth, because the GIVER is the more important person in the gift-giving pair, and because it is their feelings that matter more sometimes than those of the person receiving the gift. If I am giving someone something I get excited and hopeful that they will like the gift, and I feel slighted if I find out they didn’t like it. I generally try to put effort into a gift, but there are times when it becomes difficult to do this, because at times it seems like people can be like Rachel from Friends, who would rather you buy her something off a pre-approved list and will return gifts that are not “up to scratch.” It would be really disappointing to give to someone like that in real life, because you would feel like that person did not appreciate your effort, and that they are a generally materialistic person who cares not for sentiment, but for getting exactly what they want.

I know that when we went to Egypt and we were buying gifts for our immediate family, it took a long time to decide what to get everyone, and the effort involved was great. I didn’t feel like we even did that great a job in picking out everything exactly as it should be, but we definitely didn’t just grab a handful of things to give to people without thinking. But on the other hand, if I were receiving a gift that someone brought back from a foreign country I would be thrilled to receive whatever they gave me, because that’s the kind of thing that’s “cool”.

But honestly, I personally feel this year that there are so many better ways to spend money than buying lots of flashy gifts for people. I plan on making all of my gifts something meaningful or special for the person receiving them, even if they don’t cost a whole lot. I’ve already come up with a few ideas for Nour and Alex, and I’m having trouble with Sam, but for each of the kids, I have it in mind to keep the gifts to practical but fun, and even if we end up buying them some toys, they will not be of the “cheap plastic” variety, but will be 1. something that goes with toys they already have or 2. something that replaces toys that are no longer age appropriate.

I still feel like gift-giving occasions are special and should not be discarded just because we think that we are too high and mighty for that, and I think that showing our love through gifts is something to be valued, just as showing love through other acts of kindness and service and affection are important. But I’d rather get one really special gifts than a hundred gifts that are just trinkets and given with little thought or effort. I believe a gift should cost something, not just monetary, but something more. I think gifts should be something of a sacrifice of the person giving, not difficult to give, but definitely giving something of themselves with the gift.

Right now, my two lovies are asleep in their beds, hopefully dreaming peacefully of nothing in particular.

But I’m up, cause it’s only like 10 pm, and mommies don’t go to bed early! And I’m thinking about their Christmas gifts this year. I want them to be special, but I am so sick of brightly colored toys thrown all over my house.

At this point, I have a few thoughts on what I’m going to give them, and many are rather low-cost, but I figured I better throw it out there so others knew my plans if they are also thinking about what to buy my children for Christmas (obviously, those people would be family members, I’m assuming, since I don’t solicit gifts from friends, and well, family usually give gifts at Christmas–though they truly do not have to do so.)

Anyway, here’s what I’ve got right now:

Alexander:

Cars toddler bed (from Toys R Us) that is the same shape and size as Nour’s princess bed, but is, for obvious reasons, NOT a princess bed. I really like symmetry, so in spite of the different colors, the beds will “match.” I like things that match, too. (Did I mention they share a bedroom? Oh, yeah. It works quite well, most of the time.)

A fleece no-sew blanket, the ones commonly seen at Joann Fabric. (I love Joann Fabric, did you know? And I get a 40% off coupon every week.) I’m thinking some kind of Disney theme, and it has to be a big blanket, because Nour has a large one, and I want this one to be around the same size. They are so snuggly and look so very warm.

A couple pairs of fuzzy socks and probably some leg warmers to go with the fuzzy socks (boys can wear leg warmers, too! Well, if the leg warmers look like long socks, of course). Going to knit these.

A pair of fuzzy gloves. Haven’t decided on the color. These will probably not technically be a Christmas present.

A stocking filled with small gifts. I haven’t decided what the small gifts would be, but he’s not too picky, and I guess I just have to watch and see what he likes. It might be different types of crackers for all I know. Alex really likes to eat…

Nour:

A paper doll book if I can find a good one that I don’t have to cut out every single piece.

Dr. Seuss books.

Some new leggings and outfits. She’s still obsessed with dresses, and I fight her every day since it’s so cold and she can’t wear them as much. I try to make sure she has tights on, but she hates things with feet (like socks), so leggings without feet are her favorite thing right now, but she only has one pair, and they come to her knees now if she wears them right (which she doesn’t). I’m thinking about knitting her a pair if I can manage not to go insane in the process. (Knitting leggings? Are you nuts????)

New pair of green gloves (she’s into “green” right now–the color, not the movement.)

I’d also like to get her a magnetic calendar from Target or somewhere that has changeable dates and holidays and weather and stuff. They are really cool, and for the amount of stuff they do, very reasonably priced.

A stocking: Probably going to get creative with this one, too. Some of her favorite things: kool-aid drink packets, tiny notepads to write little notes on, Pringles. Very random. I might also get her some play money to play with. She’s into change, and she pretends that everything from checkers to bingo chips are money. It’s kind of annoying to find these all over the house, but at least if it was money, she might keep it in a wallet.

Anyway, this is just my current thought, I am not even sure what Sam’s thinking of right now as far as gifts, but his one biggest thing right now (okay, two) is no new toys, and absolutely no drums (bummer, I know).

So I posted a few days ago about my actual cloth diapering system, and I wanted to share what I would love to have, if I had the space.

Basically, I would try to have about 30 one-size diapers with inserts. I’m currently making myself about 20 while making 60 for friends, but if I had another baby, I would need more than 20, because newborns need more than 18 month olds!

I would also make it my goal to have mostly wool diaper covers, because I think they are much cuter than plain white covers, which is all I could afford at this point. The wool ones take about one skein (that’s one bundle of yarn for all you non-yarnies) of 100% wool yarn, which usually cost $6 at Joann or more at a specialty yarn store. This can get expensive and time consuming (if you’re the one knitting them), considering the total cost of ONE PUL cover (that’s the fabric the covers are made of) is about $4.75, and the time involved in making the fabric covers is about 20-30 minutes, while the wool ones take a few days (hey, they’re knit!). But the benefit of wool is that they absorb liquid, which means that they take longer to leak, and they can be made into pants or shorts as well, which eliminates extra layers. And did I mention how cute they can be? So cute. I just made a black and red striped pirate-y looking wrap for Alex.

I would love to have a changing table, not for the changing, but for the stuff. I’d get cute little wicker baskets to place everything in, neatly organized. I would have a string with clothespins on it to hang the wraps to dry between changes, draped across the changing table front or side. This is one thing I’m trying to figure out how to do right now, because our wraps never seem to get totally dry between changes.

I would get a better diaper pail, the one I have is okay, but it’s falling apart, and I think one with a simple lid (like our trash cans) would work a little better. At this point, I’m just going to hang on to it, since Alex will probably not be in diapers for too much longer, hopefully, and it has lasted us nearly 5 years at this point.

I’d get a sprayer for the bathroom toilet (like a bidet), so that we can spray off the dirty diapers, which makes cleaning a little easier for the washing machine. I would also love to get some proper wool wash so I don’t have to go through 12 steps washing our wool covers every time. This gets complicated. Right now I use Woolite and then I have to put lanolin on the covers again to keep them from leaking (that’s important!), but with Eucalan wash, it has lanolin in it, so you can wash them and lanolize at the same time. The process is much shorter!

I really like how I’m doing things at this point, there are only a few things I would improve, but one of the biggest things I would dare to dream of improving is our water quality. It seems at this point that it takes a lot of work to wash the diapers, and our water has a lot to do with that. I think getting a water filtration system would be beneficial in many ways, not just diaper/laundry washing, but alas, it is rather expensive, and we don’t really *need* to do it.

Overall, I think we’ve spent WAY less on diapers than we could have with disposables, and I really want to encourage anyone thinking about having a baby to at least educate yourself on what cloth diapering IS and ISN’T. It’s much more fun and easy now than it was when our parents had it as an option.

**as an aside, another alternative to disposable diapers (or in conjunction with cloth) is Elimination Communication or Infant Potty Training. Believe it or not, most of the rest of the world doesn’t even use diapers! In fact, it is only in the last 60 years or so that any people have not potty trained children under the age of 2. Yes, there’s a history of toilet training! There are some great books out there about working with your children on potty training very early, and NO, it’s not an “all or nothing” sort of thing. You don’t have to do all cloth, all potty training, or all disposables. I know there are some people who combine all three, and it is what works best for your family that matters, not what some book tells you to do.

A few weeks ago, I was reading My Utmost for His Highest, and I came upon the daily reading for September 9. I suppose it was September 9th that day, I can’t remember, but the reading really stung me, and it was something I felt like sharing here. Of course, time passed, I didn’t get to it right away, but I’m getting to it now because it’s always relevant:

I’ll just copy it here:

Do It Yourself

“…bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Determinedly Discipline Other Things. This is another difficult aspect of the strenous nature of sainthood. Paul said, according to the Moffatt translation of this verse, “… I take every project prisoner to make it obey Christ….” So much Christian work today has never been disciplined, but has simply come into being by impulse! In our Lord’s life every project was disciplined to the will of His Father. There was never the slightest tendency to follow the impulse of His own will as distinct from His Father’s will–”the Son can do nothing of Himself…” (John 5:19). Then compare this with what we do–we take “every thought” or project that comes to us by impulse and jump into action immediately, instead of imprisoning and disciplining ourselves to obey Christ.

Practical work for Christians is greatly overemphasized today, and the saints who are  ”bringing every thought [and project] into captivity” are criticized and told that they are not determined, and that they lack zeal for God or zeal for the souls of others. But true determination and zeal are found in obeying God, not in the inclination to serve Him that arises from our own undisciplined human nature. It is inconceiveable, but true nevertheless, that saints are not “Bringing every thought [and project] into captivity,” but are simply doing work for God that has been instigated by their own human nature, and has not been made spiritual through determined discipline.

We have a tendency to forget that a person is not only committed to Jesus Christ for salvation, but is also committed, responsible, and accountable to Jesus Christ’s view of God, the world, and of sin and the devil. This means that each person must recognize the responsibility to  ”be transformed by the renewing of  [his] mind…” (Romans 12:2)

Wow. How often do we just jump up and say “Let’s do this” or “I want to serve here” without giving any thought to what we are doing. I know what my gifts are, and I know where I struggle. But there are people who would like me to serve in their area of ministry, mainly because they need help. Does that mean I should serve wherever? Absolutely not! I think it’s okay to test our strengths and weaknesses, but if you are serving in something that is not where you know God is calling you to be, then you need to determine to make a change. Even if that means you have people who say “why are you leaving for that? You were good here.”

It also brings me to another place, where I feel that the impatience I’ve had with God regarding our family’s calling has begun to change. It’s not that God is testing me, it’s that he wants me to be READY to serve. He is preparing us for work, not just throwing us in without any net. I will no longer take on a project without thinking it over and praying about it and whether or not it is what is God’s best for me.

It also reminds me about zealousness. I think about what being “zealous” meant in the Bible, and how it can be a good thing, but can also be a disadvantage. In Peter’s zeal, he spoke of things he knew not. He cut off a man’s ear, and he rejected Jesus in his hour of desperation. He never thought things through, and he learned hard lessons from that. Even in his later ministry, he struggled with this, and had to be brought back into the mind of Christ occasionally. But I think in the end he became disciplined and he did not act zealously so often at the end.

I’m usually a think-it-over kind of person. I like taking risks, but I also like knowing what I’m getting myself into. Even if it’s something uncertain, I feel better when I’ve been educated on my choices, understood that there is risk and made a decision based on the truth rather than on one interpretation of the facts. God wants us to become wise. Is it wise to leap all over the place like an unstable person, going back and forth, stressing out everyone around you and making people distrust you? I don’t think so. I’m not saying it’s always that bad, but if we determine deliberately that we are going to do something, we should stick to it, and not change our minds in a week. If it’s not something we can commit to, then we absolutely should NOT do it at all. Better to not start a project than have a dozen unfinished projects.