Filed under: parenting
Yes, I know it’s after midnight.
I have been thinking about and planning for Nour’s 5th birthday, which is coming up in February, and I am planning a tea party theme. Of course, I would love it if she had a few little girlfriends to invite to this kind of party, but I’m not totally sure how that would work out, to be honest.
Anyway, since I’m up and caffeinated, I figured I’d share a few of the things that I have planned for her party, particularly if we have a child-centered party or something “ladies only” (we’ll have a family gathering, too.)
1. Dresses. We will have to dress up as if we are going to a fancy tea party, and it will most certainly BE a fancy tea party.
2. Frou-frou table cloths. I will probably find something lacy or flowered to put on the tables for the party.
3. Tea-related snacks that are fit for little girls and adults alike. We got a book awhile back that has a lot of great ideas in it, so I’ll probably be using that as a guide.
4. A “tea-party” cake, which I hope to fix a teddy bear tea party on top of. Teddy bears will have little fancy dresses on, too.
5. I really want it to be something fun for the little girls, so we will have some girly party favors, like iced cookie sticks to take home, and probably bubbles and silly sunglasses for each little girl to wear.
6. I’m also thinking that there will be some crafts involved, like making crowns and decorating paper doll clothes for a special paper doll that each little girl can take home. Also, maybe a wand decorating station.
7. Maybe a game of “pin the tiara on the princess.”
At this point, that’s all I’ve got, but it seems to be a lot, maybe enough. At least it should deter men from wanting to be in on the fun… Again, we’ll still have a family gathering–you only turn 5 once!
As far as my own milestone birthday coming a month later… Pirates or Potter. Or something completely different. I don’t want it to be exactly like Sarah’s party, which was fun to plan, but I don’t want to repeat. I really would love it to be a costume party, but it would have to be a creative costume party, since my birthday’s in March, far removed from Halloween store bought costumes… But I think it would be a real blast to see what creative ideas people could come up with for costumes… Oooh, a Masquerade! Okay, now I’m just being silly. But seriously. I think I would really have fun with a costume party for my birthday. My birthday’s on a Tuesday, so it would have to be the weekend before or after the big day. Either way, I think many people would still have thoughts of leprechauns–be creative people! I don’t want 50 leprechauns when I’m going to dress as…Ha! You thought I was going to tell you.
Filed under: deep thoughts
I’ve been having changing feelings about what it means to give and receive gifts of value, and I am beginning to feel that there are a few things I should put down in writing, even if my views aren’t fully formed as of yet.
I should be really careful to say that I love receiving gifts, and gifts that are given thoughtfully are the best kind, even if they are not exactly what I expected. If effort is put into giving a gift, then it’s a great gift.
But I think one of the biggest problems with commercialized holidays, particularly Christmas, is this idea that the giving has to be exactly what the receiver of gifts wants, and in a consumer culture, it’s no wonder that gift giving has been reduced to lists or even registries for birthdays and holidays (not so much babies and weddings–I think those kind of registries do have some value).
But I feel like I don’t even want that many gifts this year, because I already have SOO much stuff that I would rather get rid of. If it was a gift that enhanced a particular hobby or was exceptionally useful for myself or my whole family, then I would like it better than something that might not get used. Practical gifts are more my cup of tea than lots of other things that I don’t really need, and I feel bad accepting gifts that I know I won’t use, even if there is some thought put into it.
I struggle back and forth, because the GIVER is the more important person in the gift-giving pair, and because it is their feelings that matter more sometimes than those of the person receiving the gift. If I am giving someone something I get excited and hopeful that they will like the gift, and I feel slighted if I find out they didn’t like it. I generally try to put effort into a gift, but there are times when it becomes difficult to do this, because at times it seems like people can be like Rachel from Friends, who would rather you buy her something off a pre-approved list and will return gifts that are not “up to scratch.” It would be really disappointing to give to someone like that in real life, because you would feel like that person did not appreciate your effort, and that they are a generally materialistic person who cares not for sentiment, but for getting exactly what they want.
I know that when we went to Egypt and we were buying gifts for our immediate family, it took a long time to decide what to get everyone, and the effort involved was great. I didn’t feel like we even did that great a job in picking out everything exactly as it should be, but we definitely didn’t just grab a handful of things to give to people without thinking. But on the other hand, if I were receiving a gift that someone brought back from a foreign country I would be thrilled to receive whatever they gave me, because that’s the kind of thing that’s “cool”.
But honestly, I personally feel this year that there are so many better ways to spend money than buying lots of flashy gifts for people. I plan on making all of my gifts something meaningful or special for the person receiving them, even if they don’t cost a whole lot. I’ve already come up with a few ideas for Nour and Alex, and I’m having trouble with Sam, but for each of the kids, I have it in mind to keep the gifts to practical but fun, and even if we end up buying them some toys, they will not be of the “cheap plastic” variety, but will be 1. something that goes with toys they already have or 2. something that replaces toys that are no longer age appropriate.
I still feel like gift-giving occasions are special and should not be discarded just because we think that we are too high and mighty for that, and I think that showing our love through gifts is something to be valued, just as showing love through other acts of kindness and service and affection are important. But I’d rather get one really special gifts than a hundred gifts that are just trinkets and given with little thought or effort. I believe a gift should cost something, not just monetary, but something more. I think gifts should be something of a sacrifice of the person giving, not difficult to give, but definitely giving something of themselves with the gift.
Filed under: parenting
Right now, my two lovies are asleep in their beds, hopefully dreaming peacefully of nothing in particular.
But I’m up, cause it’s only like 10 pm, and mommies don’t go to bed early! And I’m thinking about their Christmas gifts this year. I want them to be special, but I am so sick of brightly colored toys thrown all over my house.
At this point, I have a few thoughts on what I’m going to give them, and many are rather low-cost, but I figured I better throw it out there so others knew my plans if they are also thinking about what to buy my children for Christmas (obviously, those people would be family members, I’m assuming, since I don’t solicit gifts from friends, and well, family usually give gifts at Christmas–though they truly do not have to do so.)
Anyway, here’s what I’ve got right now:
Alexander:
Cars toddler bed (from Toys R Us) that is the same shape and size as Nour’s princess bed, but is, for obvious reasons, NOT a princess bed. I really like symmetry, so in spite of the different colors, the beds will “match.” I like things that match, too. (Did I mention they share a bedroom? Oh, yeah. It works quite well, most of the time.)
A fleece no-sew blanket, the ones commonly seen at Joann Fabric. (I love Joann Fabric, did you know? And I get a 40% off coupon every week.) I’m thinking some kind of Disney theme, and it has to be a big blanket, because Nour has a large one, and I want this one to be around the same size. They are so snuggly and look so very warm.
A couple pairs of fuzzy socks and probably some leg warmers to go with the fuzzy socks (boys can wear leg warmers, too! Well, if the leg warmers look like long socks, of course). Going to knit these.
A pair of fuzzy gloves. Haven’t decided on the color. These will probably not technically be a Christmas present.
A stocking filled with small gifts. I haven’t decided what the small gifts would be, but he’s not too picky, and I guess I just have to watch and see what he likes. It might be different types of crackers for all I know. Alex really likes to eat…
Nour:
A paper doll book if I can find a good one that I don’t have to cut out every single piece.
Dr. Seuss books.
Some new leggings and outfits. She’s still obsessed with dresses, and I fight her every day since it’s so cold and she can’t wear them as much. I try to make sure she has tights on, but she hates things with feet (like socks), so leggings without feet are her favorite thing right now, but she only has one pair, and they come to her knees now if she wears them right (which she doesn’t). I’m thinking about knitting her a pair if I can manage not to go insane in the process. (Knitting leggings? Are you nuts????)
New pair of green gloves (she’s into “green” right now–the color, not the movement.)
I’d also like to get her a magnetic calendar from Target or somewhere that has changeable dates and holidays and weather and stuff. They are really cool, and for the amount of stuff they do, very reasonably priced.
A stocking: Probably going to get creative with this one, too. Some of her favorite things: kool-aid drink packets, tiny notepads to write little notes on, Pringles. Very random. I might also get her some play money to play with. She’s into change, and she pretends that everything from checkers to bingo chips are money. It’s kind of annoying to find these all over the house, but at least if it was money, she might keep it in a wallet.
Anyway, this is just my current thought, I am not even sure what Sam’s thinking of right now as far as gifts, but his one biggest thing right now (okay, two) is no new toys, and absolutely no drums (bummer, I know).
Filed under: diapering
So I posted a few days ago about my actual cloth diapering system, and I wanted to share what I would love to have, if I had the space.
Basically, I would try to have about 30 one-size diapers with inserts. I’m currently making myself about 20 while making 60 for friends, but if I had another baby, I would need more than 20, because newborns need more than 18 month olds!
I would also make it my goal to have mostly wool diaper covers, because I think they are much cuter than plain white covers, which is all I could afford at this point. The wool ones take about one skein (that’s one bundle of yarn for all you non-yarnies) of 100% wool yarn, which usually cost $6 at Joann or more at a specialty yarn store. This can get expensive and time consuming (if you’re the one knitting them), considering the total cost of ONE PUL cover (that’s the fabric the covers are made of) is about $4.75, and the time involved in making the fabric covers is about 20-30 minutes, while the wool ones take a few days (hey, they’re knit!). But the benefit of wool is that they absorb liquid, which means that they take longer to leak, and they can be made into pants or shorts as well, which eliminates extra layers. And did I mention how cute they can be? So cute. I just made a black and red striped pirate-y looking wrap for Alex.
I would love to have a changing table, not for the changing, but for the stuff. I’d get cute little wicker baskets to place everything in, neatly organized. I would have a string with clothespins on it to hang the wraps to dry between changes, draped across the changing table front or side. This is one thing I’m trying to figure out how to do right now, because our wraps never seem to get totally dry between changes.
I would get a better diaper pail, the one I have is okay, but it’s falling apart, and I think one with a simple lid (like our trash cans) would work a little better. At this point, I’m just going to hang on to it, since Alex will probably not be in diapers for too much longer, hopefully, and it has lasted us nearly 5 years at this point.
I’d get a sprayer for the bathroom toilet (like a bidet), so that we can spray off the dirty diapers, which makes cleaning a little easier for the washing machine. I would also love to get some proper wool wash so I don’t have to go through 12 steps washing our wool covers every time. This gets complicated. Right now I use Woolite and then I have to put lanolin on the covers again to keep them from leaking (that’s important!), but with Eucalan wash, it has lanolin in it, so you can wash them and lanolize at the same time. The process is much shorter!
I really like how I’m doing things at this point, there are only a few things I would improve, but one of the biggest things I would dare to dream of improving is our water quality. It seems at this point that it takes a lot of work to wash the diapers, and our water has a lot to do with that. I think getting a water filtration system would be beneficial in many ways, not just diaper/laundry washing, but alas, it is rather expensive, and we don’t really *need* to do it.
Overall, I think we’ve spent WAY less on diapers than we could have with disposables, and I really want to encourage anyone thinking about having a baby to at least educate yourself on what cloth diapering IS and ISN’T. It’s much more fun and easy now than it was when our parents had it as an option.
**as an aside, another alternative to disposable diapers (or in conjunction with cloth) is Elimination Communication or Infant Potty Training. Believe it or not, most of the rest of the world doesn’t even use diapers! In fact, it is only in the last 60 years or so that any people have not potty trained children under the age of 2. Yes, there’s a history of toilet training! There are some great books out there about working with your children on potty training very early, and NO, it’s not an “all or nothing” sort of thing. You don’t have to do all cloth, all potty training, or all disposables. I know there are some people who combine all three, and it is what works best for your family that matters, not what some book tells you to do.
Filed under: deep thoughts
A few weeks ago, I was reading My Utmost for His Highest, and I came upon the daily reading for September 9. I suppose it was September 9th that day, I can’t remember, but the reading really stung me, and it was something I felt like sharing here. Of course, time passed, I didn’t get to it right away, but I’m getting to it now because it’s always relevant:
I’ll just copy it here:
Do It Yourself
“…bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Determinedly Discipline Other Things. This is another difficult aspect of the strenous nature of sainthood. Paul said, according to the Moffatt translation of this verse, “… I take every project prisoner to make it obey Christ….” So much Christian work today has never been disciplined, but has simply come into being by impulse! In our Lord’s life every project was disciplined to the will of His Father. There was never the slightest tendency to follow the impulse of His own will as distinct from His Father’s will–”the Son can do nothing of Himself…” (John 5:19). Then compare this with what we do–we take “every thought” or project that comes to us by impulse and jump into action immediately, instead of imprisoning and disciplining ourselves to obey Christ.
Practical work for Christians is greatly overemphasized today, and the saints who are ”bringing every thought [and project] into captivity” are criticized and told that they are not determined, and that they lack zeal for God or zeal for the souls of others. But true determination and zeal are found in obeying God, not in the inclination to serve Him that arises from our own undisciplined human nature. It is inconceiveable, but true nevertheless, that saints are not “Bringing every thought [and project] into captivity,” but are simply doing work for God that has been instigated by their own human nature, and has not been made spiritual through determined discipline.
We have a tendency to forget that a person is not only committed to Jesus Christ for salvation, but is also committed, responsible, and accountable to Jesus Christ’s view of God, the world, and of sin and the devil. This means that each person must recognize the responsibility to ”be transformed by the renewing of [his] mind…” (Romans 12:2)
Wow. How often do we just jump up and say “Let’s do this” or “I want to serve here” without giving any thought to what we are doing. I know what my gifts are, and I know where I struggle. But there are people who would like me to serve in their area of ministry, mainly because they need help. Does that mean I should serve wherever? Absolutely not! I think it’s okay to test our strengths and weaknesses, but if you are serving in something that is not where you know God is calling you to be, then you need to determine to make a change. Even if that means you have people who say “why are you leaving for that? You were good here.”
It also brings me to another place, where I feel that the impatience I’ve had with God regarding our family’s calling has begun to change. It’s not that God is testing me, it’s that he wants me to be READY to serve. He is preparing us for work, not just throwing us in without any net. I will no longer take on a project without thinking it over and praying about it and whether or not it is what is God’s best for me.
It also reminds me about zealousness. I think about what being “zealous” meant in the Bible, and how it can be a good thing, but can also be a disadvantage. In Peter’s zeal, he spoke of things he knew not. He cut off a man’s ear, and he rejected Jesus in his hour of desperation. He never thought things through, and he learned hard lessons from that. Even in his later ministry, he struggled with this, and had to be brought back into the mind of Christ occasionally. But I think in the end he became disciplined and he did not act zealously so often at the end.
I’m usually a think-it-over kind of person. I like taking risks, but I also like knowing what I’m getting myself into. Even if it’s something uncertain, I feel better when I’ve been educated on my choices, understood that there is risk and made a decision based on the truth rather than on one interpretation of the facts. God wants us to become wise. Is it wise to leap all over the place like an unstable person, going back and forth, stressing out everyone around you and making people distrust you? I don’t think so. I’m not saying it’s always that bad, but if we determine deliberately that we are going to do something, we should stick to it, and not change our minds in a week. If it’s not something we can commit to, then we absolutely should NOT do it at all. Better to not start a project than have a dozen unfinished projects.
I’ve realized that I have been neglecting my blog because reading other blogs and commenting on what other people are thinking has been far more interesting than my own life. Of course that’s my fault! There are lots of interesting things going on here in my life and inside my head as well. Okay, maybe not interesting, but there’s still life.
A run-down:
Pilates: I’ve been doing this consistently now for a couple of weeks, prior to our vacation, I managed to get in 30 sessions, but when we got home I took nearly a month off from it, and it’s been hard getting back into it, now I’m just taking it day to day, trying to do it on days that aren’t too busy. I’ve noticed a difference.
Guitar: I’ve been going to the Worship Training Center at Vineyard Columbus, which is super cool, and I’ve been working hard at getting proficient at playing the guitar. So that’s actually a really interesting thing (at least, to me it is).
Knitting: I made 4 soakers/pants for the twins (oh, you haven’t heard? No, just kidding, I’m talking about Rob and Kristy’s beautiful little ones). Currently working on a hat for Sarah, and just finished one for her cow-milking hubby, Luke. He needs lots of warm winter hats out there in that big, chilly barn. I’m also trying to finish a pair of yoga socks–which are just like leg warmers, but with a piece that covers the foot–no heel or toe. I’m nearly 1/2 way through the second, but it’s tedious work and I haven’t figured out two-sock knitting (or double knitting) yet. Anyway, I’ve got a few other projects in mind, but I’m not sure when I’ll get to them, since I’ve got other stuff going on as well.
Diapers: I’m working on making 60 diapers for those cutie twins, too, which includes all the “fixin’s” that come with cloth diapers. I am working on a set for Alex while I’m at it, since he’s fast outgrowing the ones he’s in, and the ones I’m making are now a one-size fits all, adjustable dipe. I’ll have a pattern uploaded one day, I’m sure. But for now, I’m cutting, pinning and sewing my brains out till it’s done!
Phonics: I’m just starting out a new program with Nour for reading, and while she is completely unmotivated, we’re making a bit of progress–as in, she’s learning something whether she wants to or not! The book we’re using is one some friends suggested: Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons by Siegfried Engelmann. Of course, I bought it at Barnes and Noble, but Amazon does have it cheaper. Been trying to get Alex to work on sounds, but he’s stuck on “m” and having a good time with it, too. Oh, well. It’s fun.
Gardening: The garden is getting into winter mode, I’ve still got some peppers and lettuce out there, but I don’t know if they’ll make it through a harder frost than the one we had the other night. I brought in all the tomatoes that were left, there was a big bucket full, but they need to ripen still, so I’m waiting patiently for them to turn from green to red. Overall, I’m happy, but I’ve learned even more this year than I did last, and I’ve come to understand that learning to garden is a very long, drawn out process that includes several years of mixed results. Some things are practically growing themselves, while others need a lot of TLC. (As in “Tender, loving care, not the tv channel.:-P)
Soon I want to post up a bunch of links to some great blogs and websites that I’ve found really helpful lately, as I’m learning that the way I’ve been doing a lot of things has been entirely unhelpful to me, and that other people often do know better!
I realize this post sounded really perky, but I’m in that kind of quick-typing mood. I’ll try to write more in-depth on more fascinating subjects, but I can’t guarantee it.
Anyway, if you’re my friend (or family) and you’ve actually come here to read about my uninteresting life, thanks. I try!
P.S.–great book to read, I’ve just started: Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. It’s amazingly spot on!
