A Novel Idea!

I FINALLY have a story that I’ve been able to think of from beginning to [almost] end. I think I have struggled for so long to find something that appealed to me, but lately, a storyline has been coming together in my mind, and I spent several days considering the idea before fleshing out a portion of the story onto the computer. In just three days, I’d written over 25,000 words, or roughly 100 novel-sized pages, and I’ve started to slow down to a reasonable rate of about 1,000-2,000 words over the last 24 hours.

It’s probably not entirely useful to take a break from the creative writing in order to share on my blog, but I’m beginning to see the real value of keeping the imagination going, and I wanted to share a little of what I’m experiencing in this process. I’ve been wanting for so long to write, but the right story never quite came, and I lost interest in my own storyline before I could properly come up with the real detail of the story. This story has been almost easy to write, almost. I’m still having to do a load of research on my subjects, but I’ve got a pretty good memory for random facts, so I’ve just been doing the research as I come to a sticky spot, and then I move on. The only thing I have written down is dates, and I’ve got a stack of calendars spanning several years in order to keep my days and dates straight.

One thing I want to say, in case someone is in need of inspiration. I’ve been told this several times, but it’s worth repeating. Keep writing. Just write something. Write short stories if you can’t think of long ones, but keep the imagination and the creativity flowing, and you’ll eventually hit on something you love to write. I should also add that if you’re struggling with some other creative form, such as music or art, just keep doing it. I found that once the creative juices were flowing in my writing, I was also able to work creatively on a sketch, which was the first time I’d sketched anything in several years, and the first time I’d done a pencil drawing attempting shadow.

Being creative is sort of like solving a puzzle. Except that the puzzle is a blank sheet of paper, or some other clean slate that you have to fill. Once you find your starting point, don’t look back, just get the puzzle solved. Even if you start somewhere unconventional. In the story I’m writing I started with the climax of the story and worked my way backward. I’m now filling in the detail where necessary, just as if I were filling in shadow on a pencil sketch.

For now, I’ll leave you with a quote I posted on Facebook earlier.

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”
- George Orwell

The Rug

I’ve been gone awhile from here, and mostly, it’s because I didn’t have anything I wanted to share, or there were things I wanted to write that I shouldn’t share. Either way, I really wanted to share about this rug I’m making, because it’s inspired by the Laura Ingalls Wilder series, and you all should know by now how much I love those books.

So, I had done some research right after I read about Laura and Mary making a braided rug out of old fabric scraps, and found a few interesting ways of making the rug. It’s pretty simple, honestly, but one of the posts I found was about making the rug from old jeans. I was intrigued, because I have a tendency to get holes in my jeans in a short period of time, and often stop wearing them after that. I usually cut the calves off of the ones that still fit, but I’ve got a lot that are too small to wear after having 2 kids. So I had just been hanging onto them, either waiting until they fit, or I found something to use the fabric for. Which, obviously, I have now found.

Though the post I described inspired me, I’ve made a LOT of modifications to her original plans, and I’ll share them with you. Mainly I found it was much easier to sew everything with a machine-and you’ll need a big cone of thread (serger thread), lots of bobbins, and a needle specifically for jeans/denim. You can usually find cheap thread cones at fabric stores, you don’t need the expensive ones. And of course, you’ll need several pairs of jeans. I’ve got 5, but my husband wears a 42″ waist and I used 2 pairs of his. Depending on the sizes, you’ll need 5-8 (just a guesstimate), and you’ll need a really solid pair of fabric scissors and some sewing pins.

I started cutting the jeans apart at the seams, cutting off the seams, waistband and pockets, leaving just the flat parts of the legs. I cut the strips 1 1/4 inch wide, not the 2.5 that the other post sugggested, because it is a lot easier to braid! After you’ve cut out a sufficient amount of strips, make sure you have several bobbins of thread ready, and get started sewing the strips together end to end. I sew them flat, not folded, as you’ll see in the photo. This keeps the seam from being too thick when you sewing the strips lengthwise. Only do a section of 8-10 strips at a time, because it will be easier to braid this. If you prefer, you can sew many 8-10 strip lengths, which will save you time later.

I then sew the strips lengthwise, folding in thirds. Sew the entire length leaving 4-5 inches unsewn at the end to join the next section. You’ll need to sew your first three lengths together at one end before you start braiding. To get started braiding, you’ll need to pin it to something solid. You need to keep the lengths flat, although the sides will curl a little, which seems to be normal. The braid will look cleaner if you keep the lengths flat (again, see the picture). When you finish braiding a section (leave a little unbraided before the unsewn edge as well), you’ll want to lock the braid in place with a quick run through your sewing machine, as shown in the picture again. This keeps the braid from coming undone while you’re sewing the rug together.

To get started on making the rug out of this braid, you’ll need to decide what you want the rug to look like. If you want a round rug, you’ll pin the beginning part in a circle, if you want an oval, you’ll need to make a length maybe 12-18 inches and fold it. Start sewing at the folded edge using a wide zig-zag, the widest your machine can make, pinning it together as you go, especially around the curves. It’s really important to pin if you use a machine, because you’ll want the fabric to stay where you want it, and the machine may not do this very well on its own. Keep the pieces tightly together with your hand also, because the pins may not hold them close together enough to close the gaps. I only do about 1 round at a time, because it’s important to check that the rug isn’t curling up on you, and it’s easier to pin AND to sew if you do a little at a time. Obviously, you’ll have longer intervals between sewing and pinning as your rug gets larger. Again, leave a short length of the braid unattached to the rug, so you have a little bit of room to add more and braid it.

As I said before, you’ll want to do it in sections, so as you go, you’ll attach another section, braid, then sew the rug, attach more, and so on until the rug is the size you want.

My next rug project is to use up a set of quilting squares I’ve probably had for 9 years or more. I’ve already got quite a few pieces sewn in lengths, I just need to cut them to the right width. I don’t know when I’ll get started on this, because I’ve got a lot of other projects to do!

The father of my children

Sam holding his white elephant gift at Christmas (Photo taken by Nicole S.)

A lot of people talk about their dads on Father’s Day. Well my dad is totally awesome, and I love him a lot, but today I wanted to talk about my husband. We’ve been married for nearly 10 years, and we have two very wonderful little kids.

As a husband, Sam is faithful, committed and loving. He still finds me attractive, and he lets me know it frequently. He is not always great at keeping things clean, but then, neither am I.

As a dad, he’s doing pretty good. I think he’s still learning, but he’s caring and gives the kids a lot of his attention. He knows how important “being there” really is, and he isn’t about giving the kids stuff or money to replace spending time with them and giving them affection.

Tonight when I asked our 6 year old daughter if she would make something for her daddy for Father’s Day, she spent an hour working on a “puzzle” and made a box for it out of cardstock paper. It was such a sweet gift, and she insisted that “daddy is going to love it!” I’m sure he will.

He’s also really proud of our kids. Whenever one of them does something or says something that surprises him (like our 3-year-old using the word “contraption”) he is amazed and I can see the joy in his face at watching the kids grow up right before his eyes. Sometimes I think we’re both in shock at the fact that we’ve got these kids and no one has told us that there has been some kind of mistake in us being blessed by these two precious little people.

Sometimes I feel like we aren’t doing that well as parents, that we’re making a lot of mistakes, and I sometimes think our kids are going to look back and wonder if they need therapy for all of the things we did to them! But we both love our kids infinitely, and I think that they’re probably going to be ok.

I am always constantly amazed by the fact that our kids almost always give him their fullest attention when he wants to take pictures of them. He loves doing photo shoots with them and we have some of the best pictures of our kids that most people don’t have. And it really does seem like no matter what happens, his pictures of our kids always turn out better than those done at studios like Sears and especially better than school photos!

I’m so glad to have been blessed to have a husband like Sam, and I hope that every Father’s Day and anniversary only gets better!

School’s Out

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written, I haven’t had a whole lot to say. But today was the last day of Kindergarten for my little girl, and it was a fun celebration of being young. They had a little ceremony where they sang some of their songs from the year, and then we had punch and cookies afterward. It was fun to hear about how much she’s blossomed from a quiet late-comer into a full-fledged ready-for-1st-grader! She’s done really well this year, in spite of missing the first three and a half weeks of school, and we are glad that she’s right on track.

But the school sent home a lot of “warnings” about how kids can lose so much of what they’ve learned while on summer break. To help combat that, we’re going to do a lot of reading and writing, and try to get in some math and science as well.

For our reading program, we’re going to make every effort to get to the library once a week, and get 7-8 new books to read. I want her to read a totally new book each day, even if it’s one we own and haven’t read yet. I’ve also got her started with a folder filled with writing and drawing paper, and she’s going to write about each day and draw one or two pictures about her day. Some days will be boring, I’m sure, but our goal is to write each day, no matter how boring it was, and to fill the whole folder with her own memories of this summer. If it goes well, maybe we’ll do it every year, and start Alex on it, too!

As far as other plans for the summer, I’m trying to figure out a way to do something special at least one day each week, and also do a little “summer camp” at home for the kids one week. I don’t want to fill up their days with lots of activity, I want to have relaxing, lazy summer days, but I also don’t want them to drive each other up a wall, so I’m going to start planning for “emergency” fun activities to get the kids off each other’s backs. I’m also going to try not to allow the tv to be on most of the day, and I’m going to have an hour in the afternoon that is a quiet time for everyone, where they can either read a book or rest.

I’ve been thinking about my personal habits, just as I’ve mentioned at Uncluttered about my home habits, and I’ve currently been working on dealing with anger. I’d say this is going about half as good as I’d hoped, so I’m going to continue to work on those issues, but in about 2 weeks, I’m going to add a daily habit of reading at least 5 chapters of the Bible each day. I’ve been trying to read the Bible regularly this year, but I’m lagging behind, and there are days that I will sit and read for an hour or so, just because it’s quiet and I can. But other days, I miss out completely. I want to be more intentional right now about reading the Bible, so I’m shooting for 5 chapters a day.

I also want to work on some habits with my kids, which is why we’re doing the reading and writing each day, but I have to figure out what to do with my 3-year-old. I’m probably going to start with reading at bedtime each night, and nights I know we won’t be home early, I’ll try to read him a book at some other point during the day. After I get that habit going, I’d like to start getting him to practice writing letters. He already knows each letter, but his writing skills are pretty normal for a 3-year-old boy, which is pretty much non-existent. So I’m hoping to get him to the point of writing the whole lower-case alphabet by the end of the summer.

When it’s time for school again, we’re not going to be doing traditional public school anymore. Nour is currently enrolled in a virtual academy, and we’re planning to change this to their international version, as we’ll probably be moving mid-year. So she will not go to a typical classroom anymore, and I’m using the summer to start practicing what it will be like for us to do her schoolwork at home. They have some summer programming to go through, so I’m counting this as a huge benefit for practicing. I don’t want her thinking that she doesn’t have to do a lot of work anymore because she’ll be at home, so we’re going to probably need the whole summer to get used to this!

So that’s my big plan for the summer as it stands right now. I absolutely expect it to change, and I know it’s not going to look the way it does in my mind, but I’d rather have some sort of plan than just do whatever!

Deep Space Ponderings

From edubuzz.org

As someone who leads a pretty average-looking life, it may or may not surprise you that I’m really into science fiction. Especially the kind involving outer space or time travel, and especially anything involving Brits. I’ve read all of C.S. Lewis’s space trilogy (Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, That Hideous Strength, though only the first two involved space directly), and I’m currently devouring the 2005 reincarnation of Doctor Who through Netflix.

Last night, as I was watching an episode from the second season, it dawned on me that there is something mysterious that draws me in to discussions about outer space. In college, I had to watch a couple of movies, like Contact, that involved encountering something from the mysterious darkness of outer space, and I realized that there is a sense of awe and wonder, and also a little fear, that comes to me whenever I start to think about the things in space.

Because here’s what really gets me. God created this great big universe. It’s immense, vast and unexplored by humans. We are tiny and insignificant compared to the great universe, and that causes many people to worship it, rather than focus on God. But I think the universe is a metaphor, brilliantly designed by a mysterious God. As soon as we think we have something figured out about the universe, it surprises us again. Isn’t that what God is like? He is constant and never changes, but at the same time, he doesn’t fit into our expectations. How much of God is totally unknown to us? Why do we believe that we are so important that God would only create life on this one, rather small, planet, and not have other civilizations elsewhere? Perhaps we’ll never come into contact with them, but it’s not a stretch to think that God was more creative than we give him credit for. Besides that, in order to sustain life on this planet, God needs only to have created one solar system, or just one galaxy. But he didn’t. He created a seemingly endless universe.

Why? Maybe to show us how small and lowly we are, or maybe to show us how majestic He is. Either way, the proper response is to fall down in worship, not of the universe, but of our Holy God.

Psalm 19

1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.

3 They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.

4 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.

5 It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is deprived of its warmth.

7 The law of the Lord is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.

8 The precepts of the Lord are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.

9 The fear of the Lord is pure,
enduring forever.
The decrees of the Lord are firm,
and all of them are righteous.

10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the honeycomb.

11 By them your servant is warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.

12 But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.

13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Remember: The God of the Universe, the Creator of Everything, also created YOU. He designed each individual human being and knows everything about each of us. And He loves us. He loves us more than we can even fathom. God, who knows the name of every planet, solar system, sun, and galaxy, also knows your name, and He died that you could live. And that is even more amazing than the universe.

What does it mean to be a Christian?

*This note is not about Osama bin Laden. I wrote it just before finding out about his death last night, and it has very little to do with the subject. There may be a line or two that is connected or relevant to current events, but it is generally unrelated.

**I wrote this late yesterday, but I felt that the Holy Spirit was guiding me in writing this message as I prayed for the right words. I don’t believe it’s properly finished, it’s just a few thoughts I needed to write down last night. Let me know your thoughts when you’re finished.

There are lots of people in the world who call themselves Christians, or some variant of that term; Christ-Follower, Messianic, Believer in Christ. But how many of those people truly adhere to the basic beliefs that really make a person a Christian is widely speculated. Some churches believe that anyone who is not a member of their denomination is not a true Christian, others even go so far as saying that if you don’t get married within their church, your marriage is not legitimate (even though marriage has mostly become a civil institution). My husband once had someone in a very old church tell him this very thing, which is simply absurd to us. All other beliefs aside, marriage outside of the “one true church” isn’t sinful or illegitimate.

But it’s hard to really disagree with the Church’s historical stance on what defines Christianity. The Bible is clear on what you must do to be saved, and the Church as a whole decided on the Apostles’ Creed and the Nicene Creed and various others that are consistent with Scripture. What does the Bible have to say?

Acts 2:38
Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

John 3:16-18
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.

The oldest recorded creed in the Church outside the Canon of the Bible is the Apostles’ Creed:

Apostles’ Creed:
I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Maker of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
born of the virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead, and buried;
He descended into hell.
The third day He arose again from the dead;
He ascended into heaven,
and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
from thence he shall come to judge the quick (or living) and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Ghost;
the holy catholic church; (or universal)
the communion of saints;
the forgiveness of sins;
the resurrection of the body;
and the life everlasting.
Amen.

Those are the foundational beliefs of Christianity. Now, Christians in general believe a lot of other things, whether rightly or wrongly, but the Bible is very clear about sin and for a Christian, willfully remaining in a sinful situation is regarded poorly. Paul, in 1 Corinthians, lays out a directive to the church on how to go about expelling a believer from among the church for willfully sinful behavior. Then, in 2 Corinthians, he lays out another directive for welcoming a repentant sinner back into the church.

Very clearly, the church ought to only judge those who profess Christ by the standards we profess to adhere to, the world has its own standard, and so doesn’t claim to follow our morality. We should not simply ignore lawlessness or ignorant behavior on the part of non-Christians, but deal with it civilly and as people who have different professions of belief.

When it comes to people who do profess Christ, but do things that Christians generally consider to be outside the realm of proper Christian behavior, such as mistreating co-workers, abusing children, gossiping, following horoscopes, and of course sexual immorality of any kind, Christian brothers and sisters need to stand up and say that it’s wrong and the believer should stop. Jesus laid out a simple plan in Matthew 18 for dealing with someone else’s sin. Frankly speaking, as Christians, we have a right to remind other Christians of who they serve and we also have a duty to the Body of Christ, AKA the Church proper, to do so.

We also need to constantly examine ourselves for planks. We need to remember that we are also sinners, and ignoring personal sin at the cost of harmony with a fellow believer is a dangerous road. Whatever measure we use will be used on us. If we are hypocritical, judgmental and unloving, when we fail publicly, the same measure will be used on us. This is why Matthew 18 is so vitally important, because it starts with a one on one approach to dealing with sin and moves toward public profession for an unrepentant person. If a person is so arrogant as to allow their failings to be so publicly displayed without repenting, then that person deserves to be tossed out of the church, with the clear understanding that forgiveness is ALWAYS possible if they are willing to repent.

My understanding of the Bible includes an understanding that Christians ought to look different from the rest of the world, not in clothing, but in action. When a Christian receives theHoly Spirit at their conversion, that same Spirit has a goal: making us more like Christ. It is our job to listen to the Spirit, and part of that includes reading the Bible with the illumination the Spirit gives a Christian, but another part of that is resisting the natural self, at least the parts that have strayed from the course God had planned for us.

Honestly, Christians, we can’t do this alone. We need the community of believers, but we also need to recognize the importance of letting the Holy Spirit have His way in our lives. If we have the Spirit and we listen for the guidance of the Spirit, we will become more like Christ. Christianity isn’t just about accepting Jesus into your heart, it’s about crowning Him Lord and Savior and King of your life. You can’t say Jesus is King unless you have the Holy Spirit. You can’t say Jesus saved me except by the Holy Spirit and you cannot have Jesus as the Lord of your life unless you have the Holy Spirit guiding you. You can utter the words, but they will mean absolutely nothing. Jesus doesn’t sit in the copilot’s seat, he sits on the pilot’s seat. He is on the throne, and he’s not your “homeboy.”

Christians have to have a holy reverence for God and Jesus, also recognizing the friendship that has been extended to us. There is a delicate balance there. If we lean too much toward simple friendship, we take out the element of our utter dependence on God. Without Him, we do not exist. With Him, the universe exists. God is Holy, Set apart, Glorious, Revered, Hallowed.

The God of the Universe, who sits outside the realm of time and space, who created everything from the largest sun to the tiniest molecule with intricate detail and perfect beauty, who Came Down from his heavenly throne to die on a cross, a humiliating and disgraceful death, who then defeated death and sin Once For All, wants to be friends with you.

Imagine a president or king or queen calling you up and asking to be your friend. Would you say no? But you also would treat that person with utmost respect, because he or she is a ruler, and could easily reject you as friend if you didn’t show proper respect. The same is true with God. When we accept his offer of friendship, it comes with a huge price: our whole life. If we are not willing to accept that price, then we cannot be friends with him. We cannot fake it, because we are ultimately alone in our deception.

God does not accept false friends and He alone knows your heart. He knows whether you mean to give him everything, but if you refuse to try to give him everything, he will take nothing. He will not take half-hearted sacrifices because they are detestable to him. (see Malachi) he will not bless us when we disobey him, because we know the truth. We would have been better off never hearing the Gospel.

The thing about the Gospel is that it is the best possible news, but it often comes at the worst possible time. Jesus comes to us asking us to give him everything because he has something much better in store. But the moment he looks in your face and says, will you accept my offer of forgiveness and salvation, we start to hear the voice that tells us why this would not be such a good idea. Being a Christian means that we ignore that voice, stare into the face of Jesus and say YES, Lord! Because the things that would hold us back are utterly worthless in comparison. One writer says “if a man has God plus all the possessions in the world, he has no more than the man who has God only.” Jesus is Enough. He is, in himself, all we need. Nothing else is important compared to him, no possessions, no people, no animals, no food, no city or country or nation. Our duty as Christians is to Christ Alone. We are called to be witnesses and to preach the Gospel far and wide. Our professions are opportunities to meet people and share our faith with them, our money is an outlet to share the gospel around the world, and to help people in need along with sharing the gospel.

The Christian life is not about comparing ourselves to other people but to Christ himself. If we look at his life and ministry and do not believe that we are doing what he did, then we need to stop what we are doing and become more like him.

Three.

My baby is three. I don’t know why this feels so significant to me today, but he is now no longer a toddler, but a full-fledged preschooler. When my daughter turned three, I was pregnant with him, and this third birthday, I’m not pregnant, and I don’t see having anymore children anytime in the near future (never say never!). I think back to the day he was born, and how so many things were going on in my family that day. My parents were taking care of our daughter, and they had to attend a funeral AND a wedding that day. My mom ended up missing the wedding because Alex was born right around the time they were supposed to go, but my dad was playing in the band at the reception, so he had to go. It was an emotionally trying time for us, because my brother’s friend had just passed away a week earlier from brain cancer, and the funeral was that morning. We also had a controversial “Justice Revival” at our church that week, and we attended one night of it, Thursday. I missed most of what was going on, and went into labor on Friday, so we missed the last night.

This birthday is probably significant for me because it marks a celebration of my son’s life in the midst of some very trying times for us. Life around here has been filled with lots of drama lately, and I’m glad to have something to celebrate in spite of everything. Easter is coming on Sunday, which is an even greater celebration for me, and hopefully for you, because it marks the Resurrection of Jesus, and the turning point of history. My husband and I were discussing how important it is to live out the Gospel for our children so that they will become followers of Jesus, too. We’re learning that it’s not just about what we believe, but how we live, that is important for teaching our children about Jesus. We’re also learning that it doesn’t matter what we become or what our children become, as long as what they are doing is done to give glory to God. I pray this for my son today on his birthday, that he will give his life to Christ and use his talents (whatever they may end up being) to further His Kingdom.

Out of the mouths of babes

Almost everyone has heard the children’s church song,

“Be careful little ears what you hear,
Oh be careful little ears what you hear,
For the Father up above is looking down in love,
Oh be careful little ears what you hear.”

But the truth is, little ears have very little control over what they hear and take in, and they often hear much more than we really want them to. Not to mention what they see, but that’s another matter. I realized a few weeks ago that the majority of my own issues in parenting stem from my own behaviors being reflected in my children, and frankly, that terrified me more than them being messy or having trouble listening and obeying. Because sometimes I say and do things that are not appropriate for adults, let alone children, to do and say.

Well, for about the last 3 or 4 weeks, I’ve begun to be very observant about my OWN words, my own actions and my own attitudes. Not that I didn’t notice what I said before, I just didn’t care as much as I do now. I’m not saying I’m being legalistic, and I’m far from perfect, but I catch myself before I say something negative a lot more often now.

There are a lot of Bible verses that discuss what we say, and I know most of us have heard one or two of them at some point. I think we all know what power words have, because I’ve seen people get extremely offended or offensive on the internet, and I’ve probably done more than my fair share of offending with words and being offended. When it comes to adults, we ought to watch our tongues (or fingertips) just as much, but I think one of the things that we have the greatest power in is how we speak to our children. Because our kids will repeat EVERYTHING we say, even if we aren’t around to hear it.

Have you ever sworn in front of your kids and immediately had the word parroted back at you? I’ll be honest, my parents swore. They were not big cussers, but they occasionally used a strong word or two in front of us. They also let us watch movies that had cussing in them, and sometimes, we’d repeat the words, not really knowing what they were or knowing that they were “bad” but using them anyway. I’m not really saying that it’s the worst thing in the world to swear in front of your kids-and sometimes, it’s an accident, like when you jam your toe or bang your head, and the words just slip out in frustration. I think those times aren’t nearly as bad as swearing at kids or calling them terrible names.

It’s not just words we say, either. I have some issues with anger and sometimes, I have a really bad temper. I will get really mad about something, and even if my anger is directed at an object or a person that isn’t present, if I act this way in front of my kids, I know it has a lasting impression. I’ve seen a few times when they’ve reenacted one of my outbursts in their own way, and it’s almost impossible for me to become angry with them, because I’m usually feeling ashamed of myself for behaving so poorly and being such a bad example.

Parenting can be like that sometimes. I’ve realized that even if we think we’re doing an overall good job, it’s likely that our kids will remember the stupid things we say and do with much more detail than they remember the many good times. It’s not that they think we’re doing a bad job, but they see us being incredibly emotional at those times, while at other times, we may not do anything all that memorable.

I know that many parents are concerned about how their children behave and whether they are obedient to parents or kind to others, but the truth is, we can’t really change our kids’ behavior until we examine our own. I’ve had to examine myself, and what I found didn’t make me feel good. Ask yourself a few questions:

• How do I talk in front of my kids?
• How do I talk to my kids?
• Do I let my temper get the best of me-especially in front of my kids? How often?
• Do I spend time in conversation with my kids?
• Do I listen to my kids, or do I do all the talking?
• What about how I talk with my spouse?

Think about those questions and really consider the fact that if you are unsatisfied with the answers, YOU have the power to change your own actions. These are really simple things, and the easiest solution is just to stop talking so much.

There are two Proverbs I want to leave you with:

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. 12.18

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue. 17.28

A Work in Progress

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” Pablo Picasso

I’ve been trying to get our home office in order, and one of the biggest culprits of clutter in there has been my daughter’s artwork. Around September last year, we discovered that our daughter had a real interest in art, and since then, she has hogged every stray piece of paper in our house. We got her a bunch of art supplies for Christmas, and she has already used half of them up (all of the paper, of course), creating beautiful works of art.

We had just set up a new printer/scanner, and one of my goals had been to scan some of her art to create a digital file of her artwork instead of having loads of paper everywhere. On Saturday afternoon, inspiration came to me. I decided that it would be a great idea to start an art blog for her best works. My husband had just taken some pictures of her holding one of his old film cameras, and they were just the inspiration I needed to share her gift with others. My husband is a phenomenal photographer (and no, I’m not totally biased, others have said the same thing), and that creative spirit has infected our 6-year-old.

Now, I should say a couple of things for anyone concerned. I do not believe that my daughter’s gift is particularly unique. I believe that she loves to do art, and I believe that she is creative. I believe that all children are equally creative, but it is how this is expressed and allowed to be pursued that ultimately leads to what a child will become. I don’t know (or really care right now) what my daughter will decide to be when she becomes an adult. I love her artistic creativity NOW, and that is what we are displaying.

Also, I don’t think that displaying her art in this way is exploitive. I am simply sharing her artwork in a blog, the way many photographers and artists do, and if she abandons art on her own, the blog will no longer have new content. I do not intend to make money off of my child, and if, at some point in the future, there is an opportunity to publish her artwork in a more permanent way, such as a coffee table book, and there is a market for such, the income generated will go to HER and to charities that focus on helping children.

In case you’ve missed it previously, here is her art blog: “A Work In Progress”

The Challenge of Obedience

While writing for Uncluttered, I’ve been thinking about how I personally struggle with being lazy versus getting things done, and I realized that in some ways, my laziness is often willfully ignoring the fact that my home needs to be cared for and intentionally letting things go bad because I just don’t feel like doing anything about it. I go through stages of this, back and forth, when I’ll be really lazy, then I’ll be really motivated to get things done. Since we don’t have regular times when people come to our house right now, I’ve had a really hard time stopping the laziness from taking over, and the house shows it. I often get spiritual insights when thinking about everyday kinds of things like this, and I compared the laziness about housecleaning to spiritual laziness, which, to be totally open with you, I also struggle with!

I’ve been reading Francis Chan’s book Crazy Love, and he talks about how Christians need to give God total obedience, that he wants US completely, not just our money, our time or some other section of our lives. He wants us to run to him with (these are my words) reckless abandon. Chan basically says that Christians who aren’t running toward God in this way, lukewarm Christians, aren’t really obeying God, and might not even be really Christians. The Bible backs this up:

1 John 2.3-6:

We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.

What does it mean to live as Jesus did?

Philippians 2.5-8:

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death–even death on a cross!

Jesus described his own ministry as such:

Matthew 11.5-6:

“The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.”

He also tells a parable in graphic detail of exactly what he expects of his disciples, in Matthew 25, the parable of the Sheep and the Goats.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me….Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25.34-26, 40)

Jesus isn’t saying we should do works to earn heaven. No, he clearly says in John 14.15 “If you love me, keep my commands.”

I want to stop for a second and mention motivation. A lot of people believe that there has to be some sort of motivation for doing something. I personally believe that (lack of) motivation is an overused excuse for laziness, in our personal and spiritual lives, and frankly, Jesus doesn’t tell us that we need to feel motivated to obey him, he just says “keep my commands.” If we say we love Jesus, but we aren’t living like Christ, we make liars of ourselves, just as John says.

Obedience is a minute by minute choice. In his sermon “How To Triumph over Temptation” (Vineyard Columbus, March 5-6, 2011), Rich Nathan says this:

“Obey God right now. You want to triumph over temptation, you need to shut your ear to the tempter who says, ‘You’ll never be able to obey God passionately for the rest of your life, you can’t do it!’…God is asking me this simple question “Can you abstain…for the next five minutes?”…and then five minutes from now, “Can you abstain for the next five minutes?” Can you obey God right now? In this moment, always, you can. Always, in the moment, always, you can choose for God. Let next week take care of itself.” (42:35-43:47)

Will you be obedient to God right now?

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I might add more on this topic later.